I am the queen of awkward run-ins and I am not just saying this to be cute the way cute girls do.
I really am that-- awkward. I don't do so well during first meetings or conversations that need to be filled.
Today was not an exception.
Of course I wouldn't dare to bore you with the details but basically today I have come across someone who didn't offer a lady a seat simply because she was not attractive enough.
Because of this (although while completing this sentence i hear my nine year old student telling me you don't start a sentence with "because") I have for a minute there lost complete faith in society and quickly got lost in a train of thought that basically ended with this, "despite the rise of the new girl, wallflowers are still not welcome"
However before plunging into another tyranny (quite a favorite) I took a step back and realized that yes I may not be Kate Upton but that does not mean that I should settle for less-- including in the way guys treat me.
Just because I'm a wallflower doesn't mean I should settle for less than God's best.
Also, i have come to realize that yes I may be awkward but I know that I am happy in my spectacles, books and awkward run-ins and nobody can take the place of sheer happiness that is not dependent on anyone else.
I love being a wallflower simply because being a wallflower means you are strong enough to do things on your own and in your own terms-- something that the world is clearly lacking these days.
Yes, we may not be the most popular ones, but i dare say that the outsiders-- the happy dorks-- are the happiest people i know simply because they are content in who they are and not constrained or construed by society.
Yes there are days when we wonder what it feels like to to be "the queen bee" but those days are far and few between simply because wallflowers are too busy being fascinated by the small things that the beautiful ones miss.
And I say 'beautiful' lightly simply because in what Audrey Hepburn said, "the happiest girls are the prettiest." and thank God that my happiness is not based on the suitors that I have , the amount of parties I go to or the size of my clothes.
It simply rests in knowing that my future is taken care of and I am loved by the One who will never turn His back on me.
And so today, I pray you relish in the beautiful person that you are and rest in the goodness of God that makes you shine from the inside.
You are beautiful and you need not change a thing to know this.
I end this entry with the most beautiful woman I know and the woman I aspire to be:
"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.
She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.
Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."
(Proverbs 31:10-31 NLT)