And while I could go on and on about how unbelievably sad I am, I choose to go beyond that and see the lessons at 3:21 AM.
You see, in as much as it goes against my belief of rainbows & butterflies, it's the truth: life isn't perfect. I've learned that you can't wish things into being and sometimes, what happens is completely against what you've been praying for.
But that doesn't mean that God isn't good, the truth is no matter what I see in the natural, I know in my heart that God is still good.
I've read somewhere that God sees the bigger picture while I only see part of it. In my minute way of seeing things I could never understand the whats, the whys and the ifs.
But I can trust the heart of God and know that He will never cause me harm. What was meant to break me was only used to refine me and I trust the bigger picture that only He sees.
While there might be pain, pain can be used for good.
If there's anything I learned in the past couple of weeks is that the greatest yet most necessary pain we have to go through is when we are faced with the ugly truth about ourselves. Most people spend their entire lives running away from confronting it, but what makes the difference is when we see it and decide we can change it.
It's a process. I am not completely there yet, but in time, I will get there.
I've also learned about risks. I've learned about knowing that even if it doesn't go the way you plan it to, it's still going the way it should.