Now that I am past a certain target market (aka di na ako bagets), I sometimes cringe when I use terms that are obviously for the Snapchat generation such as everything with a hashtag (or a pound sign depending on how "young" you are) so I try to avoid it at all costs. However, when it comes to Steven and Holly Furtick who I practically 'ship, I can hashtag goals all day every single day.
You see when I was younger, I thought ideal relationships are those that are filled with drama, fame, fortune, and pizzaz. I thought it was all about Instagram captions, #MCMs, fun "dates", matching #OOTDS without realizing that relationships aren't all about that jazz. In fact, as you grow "older", relationships become more of a partnership rather than an all out show.
And this is the reason why I now look into everyday relationships instead of characters out of fairytales as my relationship peg. And of course, none is more fitting than my couple crush, Steven and Holly.
Being in a real healthy relationship for the first time ever in my life caused a few adjustments especially since I've been single for so long but let me just say that when it's with the right person, you don't even notice the transition. Anthony makes the transition easy because he is patient, kind, understanding while at the same time lovingly tough on me (which I need).
Everyday is a new day and a chance for me to be a better version of myself. This was all going through my head when I came across a preaching from my couple crush (yes it's a thing and i'm sticking with it) and it was as if it was what I needed to hear because it spoke about what do in relationships.
Fairly new in the game, I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to manifest love the way He intended: unconditionally.
The preaching (which you can watch here) spoke about in relationships in a way that is different from the world's point of view. The main topic of the message is this: you love to give and not merely get. Instead of constantly asking what I can get maybe it's time to ask what one can give. While it's normal for me to be a girl and expect so many things, I have learned that being in a relationship isn't about getting but doing life with a person and making their life better.
It totally turned my day around and inspired me to be better in my relationships (because it is also applicable to the other relationships in our lives) and I hope it does the same for you.
According to Pastor Steven and Holly, the person we are committed to is our special assignment and who we are called to love.
And since we are called to love them, we are called to:
- Carry Your Burden
- As a partner, we are not supposed to add to the burden of our partner but instead we must help them carry the load and that while there are some things that our partner can do on their own, it helps to be there for them when they need us. It could be in the little things (like letting them sleep) or in the big things, but the important question to ask is how I am making the other person's life better. Because when we love someone, we want what's best for them and not to make life difficult.
- Assume the Best
- As women, we have the tendency to be OA in all things (hindi ka nagtext, di mo na ako love - not shaming because it happened to me too) but in reality, when we love someone and they love us, we must always assume that they come from a place of love. We must stop thinking that they're out to get us because in truth, just like us, they want what's best for us too.
- Live with Contentment
- When we celebrate the person right in front of us, we encourage them to grow. Instead of constantly pointing out what's wrong with them, we must always celebrate what makes them them by celebrating them as a whole. Sometimes, we do get discontented but in truth, we must always be grateful that this person chose to love us out of the million others in the world and be thankful they made that choice. Simply celebrate where you are and the rest will follow.
- Let God be God
- There are times when we want to be the god in our relationship in the sense that we want to constantly "fix" our partner. But in truth, all we can do is pray about them and give them the freedom to figure it out on their own guided by the Holy Spirit. When the time comes that you are frustrated with your partner (and it will come), it's best to simply pray about it, trust God to do what only He can do, and see Him move. Always be forgiving and put God in the center of your relationship no matter what.
- Encourage Your Strengths
- In terms of "fixing", we are not called to fix another person but instead we are called to encourage what's good about them while also encouraging them to be better. We don't point out what's wrong, instead, we support our partner by telling them how much you appreciate their good points and letting them know that no matter what, you are with them and for them.
- Do It Anyway
- There will be days when you wouldn't want to say sorry or you wouldn't want to say I love you, do it anyway. Because love is more than just an emotion, it's a commitment to love and loving unconditionally means allowing yourself to love even on days when you don't feel like it. This kind of grace comes from God so it's best to always pray and ask for His guidance in all things.
But no matter how many to-do lists are out there, the only thing that truly truly works is prayer. So whatever your #GOALS are in life, simply give it to God and watch Him move beautifully.