Sunday, December 30, 2012
12 for 12
I'm a creature of habit, which is why I couldn't stay away from writing the 12 things I learned in the year 2012.
Just to get it out of the way, future kids, the world did not end in the year 2012. In fact, if you are reading this, then you'd know that by now.
Anyway, here begins the entry: I'm ending the year on a not so happy note, but I am remaining steadfast. If you, just like me, is ending 2012 with a not so happy heart, please know that that's okay. Don't believe any of those "la di das" telling you you have to be a certain kind of bubbly in order to "attract" good things in life.
God is the giver of all things good and His word remains unchanged no matter how you're (or not) feeling and whether or not the calendar changes, ∫God is the same yesterday, today and forever, so hold on to Him. Believe that He has good plans for you and your circumstances, what you've done or what has been done to you will never change that.
I'm the queen of lists (obviously) which is why that in order to arrange my thoughts this year, I needed to categorize them into the 4 major groups of my life (am I a dork or what?!).
1) It is okay to say no.
- I love work. I love my jobs and I have always equated love with saying yes all the time. I never quite understood the concept of saying no because it might seem like I do not appreciate or place importance to my jobs. What I've learned this year is that I am not superwoman and it is okay to say no every once in awhile. I've come to realize that by saying yes all the time, I have become a walking timebomb constantly rushing to meet deadlines. By saying no, by saying that I am not comfortable with a particular idea, I find myself breathing a little slower and I'd like to think that I am working better when I am not placing greater pressure on myself to do the unattainable.
2) It is okay to take breaks.
- I am an absolute workaholic. I love working till late (which is probably 9 PM in my case) and I used to glorify busyness without realizing that it was truly nothing to be proud of. I've come to realize that it is okay to shut the computer during the weekends and spend off days doing things I only once dreamed of doing. I've come to realize that work does not have to be the only thing in my life, it's a major part of it, but it is not all of it.
3) Work does not equate life. Success does not define me.
- I must admit that I have always defined my worth as a person by how much I was doing in life. I guess this is how models and beauty queens feel about their looks. I'm only 24 but I have always felt like I was much older because of the pressure I have placed on myself to have a certain amount of "success"by the time I hit a certain age. I think the greatest lesson I've learned in this area of my life is this: work is just that, work, thankfully, it is something I love doing but it does not define me. My salary and my titles do not define me and it has given me a greater opportunity to enjoy my work without rushing to some imaginary finish line that would only leave me feeling empty. I am not completely free from this, but I'm getting there.
4) Control Vs. Friendship
- There are some people who would only accept you as a friend as long as they can control you. In the same way, I have also realized that there are also people in my life that I keep because in some way, they always agree with me and I kind of liked that sense of control. I have come to know that the beauty of friendships lie in celebrating what makes us different and trying to learn from each other's differences. I have always dreamed of friendships just like in the movies, but then again, I have always disliked the idea of fitting into the mold of the Queen Bee, so maybe those are not the friendships meant for me but there are ones so much better waiting for me.
5) Quantity Vs. Quality
- Speaking of movie friendships, I have also realized that having few real friends is so much better than having a gazillion of them on speed dial. I love the people in my life right now and I will no longer be stuck in the thinking that I need a big group in order to pretend to myself that I am well-liked. My real friends love the real, dorky and sometimes, unnerving me and for that I am forever grateful.
6) Allow People To Love You (Me?)
- Yes, there are evil people in the world but there are also good ones who wish to love me with every finer of their being if I allow them to. So, I learned this year that maybe it is best for me to stop pushing them away and begin allowing them to love me as much as I love them.
7) Mr. Perfect is not Mr. Perfect For Me
- I am not proud to share what I am about to share next, but this year, I came across what would be the Filipino version of Jeremy Lin and Tim Tebow, while I won't share any embarrassing details, I have com to realize that Mr. Perfect is not a one size fit all kind of thing. That while it might be wonderful to fall for a guy who is exactly like Jeremy Lin and Tim Tebow, I have realized that maybe God has other plans for me and I should stop thinking that this particular person is perfect for me just because he is perfect on paper.
I have virtually turned into a mess this year because of my false expectations of the perfect person and I have realized that in order to truly enjoy life, I have to let God be God in this area of my life and stop trying to fit Mr. Perfect into Mr. Perfect For Me Box. It was an experience I wish I could do without, but it was one that I needed. As 2012 ends, I wish to leave all ill feelings and crushed hopes in 2012 and hopefully when I bump into this person, I would have feel nothing but brotherly love for him.
8) It is not a fairytale
- Again, God has other plans and while it is not a fairytale, I'd like to think that what God has in store for me is so much better than anything I have dreamed of myself.
9) I can never wish it into being
- Nope, no Law of Attraction would ever work on this one. If it is in God's will, it will happen in His perfect time. No more pushing the envelope, as of today, I am done-zo, unless it is God's time for it.
10) The Power of Responsibility
- I may or may have not achieved my fitness goals this year and for the first time in a long time, I have made up excuses as to why I haven't dropped the excess lbs. I have come to realise that it has nothing to do with my weight or how I look but how making up excuses make me feel inside. It made me feel horrific because I know I have the power to become a better version of myself and yet I refuse to do so for whatever excuse of the moment I have. So I have decided to take responsibility for the way I look and the way I work out and what I stuff my mouth with. By realizing that there was a problem, I have taken my first step into what I hope is the best fitness year of my life so far. It truly does begin in our minds.
11) The Power of Perspective
- I have always been an optimist, but I have noticed that as the year winded down, my pessimistic side got the best of me and I didn't like it one bit. Being negative and absorbing negative energy just meant so much work and I was often drained at the end of the day. So I realized that the only way we can truly enjoy life is if we take the time to see the good no matter how bad things are and thank God for them. By remaining grateful, we are inviting better things to come our way.
12) Life is Not Perfect, But It Is Always Good
- As I end this entry, I could only laugh at how hopeful and optimistic I sound. Truth is, you have no idea what is happening behind the computer screen and yet, I am grateful that despite of all the temporary setbacks, I am still here, writing this, still boasting about God's goodness. You see, I have learned long ago that life isn't perfect and sometimes things don't really turn out the way we want them to and yet, we are still left with a choice. We are given the choice to move forward into the new year with faith for better things to come or we can wallow in our misery, thinking that the next year will be the same as the last.
I choose to stand strong in faith because I know that while, yes, there are challenges in my life, I also know that I have a God who can turn it around. I'd like to think that as I read this entry a year from now, I will be crying tears of joy because God has turned things around for me and for those around me.
If you are feeling a little uncertain about 2013, know that as you leave whatever has hurt you in 2012 and as you choose to blindingly believe in the goodness of God, you will see His hand in every area of your life and you will see His miracles manifest every single day. I am virtually holding your hand and cheering you on, ushering you into the best year of your life so far.
Nothing is impossible with God, so together, let's give ourselves one last cry for everything that has gone wrong in 2012 and joyfully jump as the clock strikes 12, because finally we get to begin and we are given a chance to start again.