|Of course this is NOT what I look like in my sweatpants :p|
I'm wearing sweats (and my sweats are dorky, not the sweats Drake described in one of his songs :p) in the middle of April in Manila and in as much as I refuse to admit it, I will go ahead and do so: just like a kid I ate too much chocolate during my vacation, ate way too much sweets and spent way too much time under the sun and in front of the TV that my body broke down and now i'm tucked in bed knowing that tomorrow I will be my 100% self.
And yes even though I'm feeling a little bit under the weather I still refuse to admit that I am not a hundred percent okay.
You see, that's the thing with me, there are times when I just fail to let go. My mind is constantly buzzing with ideas, daydreams and goals. I am constantly creating secret scenarios in my head and sometimes I forget to remember that I am not the one in the driver's seat-- God is.
Of course in my prayers I am focused and I know that God is in control, however, in the middle of a busy day and I catch myself in the middle of my daydream I come to realize that I have not yet fully surrendered everything to God. I am still constantly running around from one place to another-- worrying like there's no tomorrow on how to get to the places I want to go.
I also constantly ask God how specific things in my life would happen and when I look at my ginormous plans and compare it to my tiny hands, I regress. I go back to square one-- often more defeated than the first time I thought of those dreams.
Just like a restless child, I was constantly asking my Father, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" while constantly bouncing around in the car, anxiously thinking that the only way I would be satisfied is when we get there.
But in truth, I was missing the mark completely. Truth is, I don't even know if that's the direction I am heading, I know God's plans and ways are far greater than our own and He doesn't need me to constantly tell Him which direction to take and which way to go and which people to use.
God has His ways and all I have to do is simply walk in them and the only way I can stop being a control freak is by understanding that this moment, where I am now is where God wants me to be and although this maybe a pruning stage it is not less important than the day that my dreams will come true (AND WITH GOD ON YOUR SIDE, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT), every single day has a purpose and most importantly, God has a purpose as to why specific prayers are not yet being answered.
God is good. Whether or not our prayers get answered with a "yes", "no" or "something better is on the way", HE IS ALWAYS GOOD and we have victory in Him, as long as we are reminded of that everyday, we will not be shaken even if we are in the valley and we will always have hope knowing that God's plans far outweighs those that we have planned for ourselves.
That being in control is tiring and draining and often takes away the energy to be who God has called us to be. We may not be supermodels or dating basketball players or living the "good life" as described by the magazines but we are who we are for a purpose. Remember if God wanted you to be any of those things, He would have made you that way.
You are who you are for a purpose and if you feel like you've been stuck in the same place for a really long time, don't worry, it's when God's the quietest that He is preparing a big, beautiful surprise for you. So learn to lean on Him and surrender to Him in ways you have never had before.
A surrendered life is a beautiful life and also a carefree life, baggage is not necessary. And also don't resent where you are, there are blessings, miracles and victories every single day we just have to be open to the possibilities and not to be so stuck in the way we want things to go that we miss out on the life that God has for us.
He has great plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11) and if you let Him take control over every single area of your life you would find yourself happier and more secured.
God has you where He wants you, yes even if you're sniffing and in you're sweats, you are where you are for a purpose. EMBRACE IT. Good things are on the way.