i am a woman.
and just because nature dictates it, i am a woman, therefore tales about men just naturally makes me curious.
i love listening to my friends' stories about their significant others and i also enjoy reading stories and watching movies that speak of such great love and devotion that they simply make me giggle (or kilig, somehow the pinoy version is always better to hear and respond to) in the most girlish way possible.
i admit it, i love being kilig.
however, since i have never been in a relationship, i really don't have a lot of stories to share.
but despite all of this, i've been a girl for quite awhile now and i have been involved in so many stories and what if conversations with my girlfriends that i feel like an expert even if so far, all my experiences with guys have been a bit off.
i picked up the book He's Just Not That Into You when in 2009, even though my older girlfriends have been telling me to read it whenever i'd come to them asking for shameless advice that was really a no-brainer.
now at almost 23, i have come to realize the beauty to be found in this book.
the reason for this is that guys are simple, we just make them complicated.
i have been the girl who has made rude and sometimes stupid excuses for guys simply because i was hopeful that this relationship was going to work, and believe me i have made numerous excuses a book should be made out of it.
however, today, it just clicked inside of me, just like what the book said, the day would come when you'd get tired of making excuses for a guy and actually be smart enough to be with one who doesn't make you wait for a damned phone call.
There are wonderful stories born out of real fairytales. You know those kind where you've been friends for ten years and then he makes a move. Or the ones where he delightfully ignores you at first and then realizes that you are the "one". In all the movies that i have seen, this only happened because at one point that happened to the writer of the movie but had a different outcome.
1) If a guy wants you, he'd call.
- Girls, there's nothing to be ashamed of. We have all been there, whether if it's a facebook message, a text message, a BBM or an old-school phone call,we've all had times when we waited patiently by the phone, waiting for a phone call. In truth, if a guy wants you, he would not make you wait by the phone. Yes, we can't take away the idea of nerves but at the same time if a guy wants you, he'd use the nerve as an excuse to pursue you, that different kind of adrenaline rush that propels him to get what he wants. So if he's not calling you, most likely he's calling someone else.
2) A guy doesn't want you if he makes you share him with someone else
-We have all heard that excuse before, he's been with someone for so long he doesn't want to break her heart yada yada yada, that's why he's keeping you his "best kept secret". If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you. If a man wants you, he would take the time to break up with his girlfriend because he wants to get it right with you. It's as simple as that.
3) If a guy wants you, there are no excuses to not being with you. He will be with you - all the time.
- I've had my own dealings with mr. hectic, mr. "i'm-busy", mr. "there's a lot on my plate right now". You know if he wants you he would drop all of those things and pursue you, no excuses. And even if he is busy, he would still take the time to call, manage a skype date or whatever. He would be there, he would make an effort and you wouldn't even find the time to think or wonder where he is, because he will always be there--- always.
4) The lie "i intimidate him" is one of the biggest excuses you'd ever tell your self, among other equally stupid excuses.
- I've used that excuse when I was in grade school simply because I was taller than everyone else, I've also used it in high school, in college and lately even now that i'm an adult. Truth be told, it's sort of an egoistic, stupid excuse that doesn't make sense. Guys love a good challenge. If he wants me and thinks i'm way out of his league, then he should do something about it. I'm worth being pursued.
5) A man is after the chase. If he doesn't chase you, i'm sorry he is just not that into you.
- It can be highly frustrating that guys still think the way men used to think during the time of Julius Caesar. But that's how they were built, men were built for competition and nothing thrills them more than winning something they thought they'd never had. Girls who call and text or manipulate their way through a date is annoying to guys. They might enjoy the attention for awhile, but then they'd get bored and find a girl who actually wants to be pursued. Being pursued means you are in control.
I know that these are tough truths that are hard to swallow.
However, isn't it more difficult to wait on a guy for days, make excuses for him and then realize that you were waiting on nothing? I've been there, I've been rejected, I've waited on nothing, made excuses but the truth is, at the end of the day, it was nothing but the fact that he was just not that into me.
I am a control freak and it's difficult for me to understand the concept of not being in control, however if i was the one who was doing the pursuing then i didn't just lose control, i also lost my self-esteem and my pride. rejection is evil and you get rejected when you always make the first move.
Ladies, this entry is not meant to make you feel bad about yourself, in fact this entry was written with this thought in mind "you are worth pursuing and you deserve a guy who knows this"
enough crying over a guy who makes you feel like you don't deserve it, because damn it, you deserve more than just a phone call, you deserve to be treated like a princess.
When you think about it, God pursued you. God sees you as a princess so you should be with a guy who makes you feel like one.
So chin up, once you get over wanting the guy who obviously doesn't want you then you are making room for that someone who doesn't just want you, but loves you and is not afraid to show it.
God made him just for you, so take heart, wait on God and the perfect love story will fall into place.